My Michigan Commencement
Go Blue!
My mother is a kindergarten teacher. If this has taught me anything, it is how to colour within the lines so well, and the value of an education. I have always been a rigorous student, and at one time thought I wanted to go to medical school so I would cry in the library each time I got .5 off of my exam. This hyper vigilance and dedication to my craft and learning did not stop after college, but lost an area to channel that. To fill the void that was left behind by no longer getting immediate academic validation and praise from my parents and teachers respectively, Danielle and I frequently write and read and make art in our free time. That and youtube video essay deepdives into the north sea and turbulence.
I know what you are thinking. Especially living in SF, traditional education and college is viewed as a waste of time. You have everything you could need to learn on the internet and LLMs! Learn to think and create ideas, not study and memorize. The greatest educator of todays age is likely when students take all their notes and put it into those AI generated videos where Snoop Dogg reads it to you or the subway surfers film is in the background.
In a world where microlearning or the Duolingo for learning is how the majority of adult learning in America, I decided to take the path less travelled, and made the brave choice to return to the institutionalized learning that many have discouraged. And this is the story of how I graduated from the University of Michigan (online), earning a certificate in generative leadership in an AI world.
A week prior:
My former roommate, Alexander John Carter the first of his name, throws many events for his alumni group for context. He is an extremely active member of the UMich alumni group, both because he loves to rock climb and goes like 4 times a day and also because he throws all these events. Anyhow, he was throwing this bonfire the next weekend and was telling me about it at trivia with some of our mutual friends. I proclaim interest in attending the event because I am always looking for an excuse for someone to take me to the beach. He says that I cannot attend because I did not attend the University of Michigan. My heart shatters inside my chest but I keep a brave face because I am in public dammit. Hold it together.
I go home after trivia and am discussing with Danielle and we decide the logical next step is to check out if there are any short courses from UMich online I would be able to complete before the bonfire. We spent about 2 hours looking through the course catalog and we find the perfect candidate, Generative leadership adaptability in an AI world, it says it will take 1 hour to complete, and costs 49$ USD that I can reimburse through my work learning credit. I purchase it immediately and get to work.
After a long hour I complete my certificate and am now the newest Michigan alumni. I text Danielle for her praise and to tell her about this major life milestone I have just reached. She congratulates me and says we need to host a commencement this week so Alex will take my degree seriously, as all serious graduates have a graduation. I never attended my college graduation because I was backpacking at the time so I am very excited about the idea, she tells me she will handle everything and to prepare a speech because I am the valedictorian. Life is good.
Back to timeline I was at:
The day of my commencement, all of my friends are meeting at Pier 39, where Danielle has organized a reception for me to accept my certificate. Russell, Vincent, Arnav and I are running late because we tried to get dinner first so we are at the hard rock cafe, trying to speed eat our burgers and sprint over to the event where everyone is waiting on me. I had been using the week before to continue to say to Alex, us alumni…, and back in my day at Michigan, and wearing Michigan merch around (note: when I purchased it at the thrift store I explained the story and the guy gave me a student discount). After seeing I meant business (or should I say I meant school), Alex extends the invite me for the bonfire. Sweet victory.
I run over to the pier and see all of our friends and some odd acquaintances that Danielle thought it would be funny to invite sitting on the bleachers in front of the stage. Some notable call outs include the little guy with the moustache, and a tinder date that I had over a year and a half ago. Danielle has printed a program for the events and has asked our friends to perform something in my honour. Since we have such incredible and talented friends, I was not disappointed.
First Danielle gave an introduction, followed by a speech by Andrew who also took the course from his alma mater University of Wisconsin to learn what the course was, Patrick recited a poem, Cool Alex and Jonathan did a Russian dance for me that someone who saw this happening when they walked by came to join and said Jonathan was so bad at the dance he wanted to try instead, Russell lasso’d, Alex sang the fight song of Michigan, and I gave my speech. The program closed with saying there would be a fight between the alum, Alex and I, to the death. I ceremoniously struck Alexes leg with my fake sword and he honourably fell to the floor in fake agony. I was then presented with my certificate and we all played around on the stage and laughed for about another hour.
Here is my speech for whoever cares, I did think that Michigan was a city until I showed Russell my speech about 5 minutes before commencement so a few of the jokes are written under that assumption. Oops.
First I want to start out by saying thank you to Danielle for organizing this tonight, my supportive boyfriend for never questioning if I would be able to complete my certificate for generative leadership: adaptability within in AI world, Obinna for paying the internet bill at our apartment so I was able to attend remotely, Oberlin college for accepting women into establishments for higher education back in 1804, and lastly my friends and strange group of others that danielle has gathered to celebrate and perform for us here tonight. Thanks so much for coming out to for myself and the other graduates.
It is an honour to stand before you today, a proud graduate of the prestigious University of Michigan Online. What like its hard? If knowledge is power, I am now 3.5 hours powerful.
Just that wednesday morning I was not invited to a Michigan alumni BBQ, and by Wednesday evening, I had become one. If that’s not generative leadership in an AI world, I don’t know what is. I’m living proof that with determination, grit, and a course that’s under four hours long, anything is possible. honestly, it was the most formative afternoon of my life.
let me tell you, the journey was not easy. It had many ups and downs, mainly scrolling. The three hours I spent in this course were filled with trials, tribulations, and at one point—terror. The terror of having to remember my login password when the session timed out. We all have our mountains.
I had to complete 4 modules and 1 of which did not even autoplay.
Even finding this course was a feat of endurance. I had to filter by shortest duration, scroll through dozens of options, and cross-reference multiple syllabi.
I am officially one degree hotter—or should I say, now one Generative Leadership: Inspiring Adaptability in an AI World” certificate hotter. Now you may be asking yourself, Mackenzie where is Michigan? To which I say that I googled it on Wednesday, and it is near the lake. The phrase Michigan actually means large lake so that tells you how exciting the city must be.
And no I still do not know where it totally is, but that does not matter for two reasons
my course was in leadership and not geography and
I am at the best place I could be, at my fake commencement ceremony with most of my closest friends and some odd acquaintances.
Tonight in my graduating class of one I graduate a lone wolf, which is fitting because of the Wolverines mascot of our alma mater. My student debt is insurmountable but will be worth every penny.
I now join the ranks of other great Michigan alumni, tom brady, madonna, larry page, alex, and now me. I may not have a hoe persona, invented google, or won 7 super bowls, but I have 8 regular bowls at home.
To honour one of my favourite fellow Michigan alumni Alex Carter, I have purchased him a one way flight to the michigan homecoming in october, so that we can go and visit!
You are welcome alex.
And to all the bears out there, I was just accepted to Berkeley online for my next certificate. Go bears! But for tonight I am blue and gold, or should I say blue and hold, because I will be holding onto this certificate forever, but mainly when Alex is having an alumni event.
Class of April 4th 2025, I did it. Thank you.
Videos from the event:
The Russian Dance.
Warm ups during other performances.
Andrews speech.
Thanks for believing in me always, thanks Malala for teaching me how lucky I am to get educated, thanks to Danielle for going to school and learning to be funny so she throws things like this for me, thanks to all of my incredible friends who came out and performed something for me, and thanks Unviersity of Michigan for immediately accepting me, more people should do that.
I now have my certificate getting framed down the street from my house which I plan to proudly hang in my office one day. Unfortunately I had to leave town before I could attend the bonfire, but my Michigan brethren pulled through. As my final act to celebrate this chapter of my life, I bought Alex a plane ticket to Michigan for the homecoming activities in October so we can go together as our first year as alum to the homecoming events. Well I meant to, I thought Michigan was a city and got him tickets to SS Marie by accident about 8 hours by car to Michigan. I guess we will have a lot of time to learn the fight song in the car. If I can leave you with one thing I learned while at UMich, go blue!